February 10, 2012
Ice Cream Bandit!
What’s going on Blog world? I hope all is well. We haven’t chatted in a while and I apologize. However, I can’t keep you guys out of the loop too long, right? Well, wanna hear it, here it go…….
Well, we wake lil mama up and ask “why did you eat both ice cream sandwiches”? What does she say, “I didn’t, and I don’t know what y’all are talking about”. Woooord? (In my Jill Scott voice) We present the forensic evidence, fingerprints, blood spatter, shell casings, and of course the wrappers and she still says, “I didn’t eat it”. I’m looking at her like “you can’t be serious right now” but she was looking at me with tears in her eyes denying it.
Scene 2: we wake up the next day and I ask again, “you sure it wasn’t you that took the ice cream”? It wasn’t me daddy…..Notice, we are in day 2 of this lie right now but I say “okay”. (I’m giving this fool a chance to confess, make it right…..nope)
Well, we’ll fast forward to that night and at this point GFS is fed up and she commences with operation “Whoop Ass”. I hear all kinds of yelling and thumping but I don’t say a word. (I was having a Top Chef moment anyway and didn’t want to break away from my gorgeous meal) Twenty minutes later, lil mama comes down and FINALLY admits that she ate both sandwiches. Now, it’s time for the good part….
So, I look at this fool and couldn’t help but laugh. I had to tell her how dumb it was to do what she did. Not dumb in the sense that it wasn’t honest but dumb in the sense that it was just some dumb ass *ish! How in the hell you gonna steal 2 items when there are ONLY 2 ITEMS? What kind of dumb ass *ish is that! If there were 7 or so, maybe you can explain away one being missing. YOU TOOK ALL OF THEM GENIUS! In addition, you have no alibi or anyone else to take the blame. NO ONE ELSE could have done it! I’m looking at this fool like, really? So, you just gonna lie all the way to the electric chair and hope that if you admit what you did your life will be saved? Man, get off my phone with that *ish! Oh, forgot to mention that when I asked her why she did it she replied, “I didn’t think I was gonna get caught”. Wooooord? (In my Jill Scott voice again) Fool, ain’t no one else to catch! You’re the only suspect! Damnit boy!
What in the hell would Cliff Huxtable do?